1. Black hawk down – ibong maitim sa ibaba
2. dead man’s chest – suso ng patay
3. i know what you did last summer – uyy… aminin!
4. love, actually – sa totoo lang, pag-ibig
5. million dollar baby – 50 million pisong sanggol (it depends on the exchange rate of the country)
6. the blair witch project – ang proyekto ng bruhang si blair
7. mary poppins – si mariang may putok
8. snakes on a plane – nag-ahasan sa ere
9. the postman always rings twice – ang kartero kapag dumutdot laging dalawang beses
10. sum of all fears – takot mo, takot ko, takot nating lahat
11. swordfish – talakitok
12. pretty woman – ganda ng lola mo
13. robin hood, men in tights – si robin hood at ang mga felix bakat
14. 4 weddings in a funeral – kahit 4 na beses ka pang magpakasal, mamamatay ka rin
15. the good, the bad and the ugly – ako, ikaw, kayong lahat
16. harry potter and the sorcerer’s stone – adik si harry, tumira ng shabu
17. click – isang pindot ka lang
18. brokeback mountain – bumigay sa bundok
19. the day of the death – ayaw tumayo
20. waterworld – basang-basa
21. there’s something about mary – may kwan sa ano ni maria
22. employee of the month – ang sipsip
23. resident evil – ang biyenan
24. kill bill – kilitiin sa bilbil
25. the grudge – lintik lang ang walang ganti
26. nightmare before christmas – binangungot sa noche buena
27. annie hall – ang butas ni annie
28. never been kissed – pangit kasi
29. gone in 60 seconds – 1 round, tulog
30. the fast and the furious – ang bitin, galit
31. too fast, too furious – kapag sobrang bitin, sobrang galit
32. dude, where’s my car – dong, anong level ulit tayo nag-park?
33. beauty and the beast – ang asawa ko at ang nanay nya
34. the lord of the rings – ang alahero
Category Archives: Humor
1. Black hawk down – ibong maitim sa ibaba
“… oo na, maganda na ang kutis mo! Ikaw kaya dito sa pwesto ko. Tingnan ko lang kung hindi ka magkutis matanda! Hmp!” – Betlog
“Subukan mo kaya na kalimutan na ako at wag ng puntahan. Di naman sa pagyayabang. Lalapit ka pa rin sa akin.” – inodoro
“Hindi ako panakip butas!” – sanitary napkin
“Hindi lahat ng malakas, superhero” – putok
“Sana brief na lang ako!” – Rustom Padilla
“Kung ginalingan mo ang pagsupsop habang matigas pa ako, hindi ka malalagkitan o magkakatulo! Mabagal kang kumilos! Mabagal ka! Mabagaaaal!! !!” – ice candy
“Bakit mo ba pilit akong mawala sa iyong landas? Oo, pasaway ako kung minsan at tanggap ko. Pero pagkatapos mo akong iluwal ay ganon na lang?” – tae sa bowl
“Hindi lahat ng kabayo, may apat na paa” – Diego
“Hindi lahat ng macho may bigote” – Vina Morales
Taken from actual Pinoy songhits: Greatest Love of All: * "I decided long ago, never to walk in Edu Manzano... " (I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadow) Cry by Mandy Moore: *"A walk to remember... it was late afternoon! " (I'll always remember, it was late afternoon) All My Life by K-ci and Jojo: * "...supposed to be you're like my mother, supposed to be you're like my sister" (...close to me you're like my mother... close to me you're like my sister) Where's the Love by Black Eyed Peas: * "People killing, people flying, children hurt an living, crying..." (People killing, people dying; children hurt and you hear them crying) Leaving on a jet plane: * "so kiss me and SMAFFLE me..." (so kiss me and smile for me...) Usher & Alicia's My Boo: * "It started when we were younger you were NINE..." (It started when we were younger you were mine) Eto pa: * "...and you were my BEYBLADE... it started when were younger youwere FINE..." hehehe.... If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys: * "some people want TAMBOURINES.." (Diamond rings) Britney's Baby One More Time : * "My ONLY NEST is killing me... and I........" (My loneliness....) Thumbthumping (Chumbawumba): * "I get knocked down by an elephant, my momma's gonna bring me down..." (I get knocked down, but I get up again...) Crush by Jennifer Paige: * "i-splash, a little crush.." (it's just.. a little crush..) Californication by Red Hot chili peppers: * "Viva Californication...." (Dream of Californication...) No scrubs by TLC: * "A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fine but is also known as a BUS STOP" (buster) Waterfalls by TLC: * "Don't go JASON waterfalls..." (Chasin') With A Smile by Eraserheads: * "Lift ur HAND... Baby don't be scared... of the things that could gowrong along the way..." (HEAD!!!) Wag Na Wag Mong Sasabihin by Kitchie Nadal: * "maaaaaaaaaag... , magdamag mong sasabihin........" On Bended Knees by Boyz II Men: * "Oh God give me the reason, I'M DOWN... ABANDON ME..." (I'm down on bended knee) Zephyr Song by Red Hot Chili Peppers: * "Fly away on my CELLPHONE... I feel it more than ever" (Fly away on my zephyr, I feel it more than ever) eto pahabol... "Nothing's gonna change my love for you... you know NAMAN MY LOVE howmuch I love you..."
People from different countries have their general traits which make them unique. Whether they like it or not, they share something in common. This page tackles some of the characteristics and behavior of the Filipinos or Pinoys which may surprise and amuse the non-Pinoys and may serve as an eye opener to our Filipinism. A true-blooded Pinoy…
· likes to drink his life’s sorrows over jukebox songs.
· loves to overdecorate his house.
· votes movie stars into public office.
· prefers to ride a jeepney or a tricycle than just walk to a short distance destination.
· goes for an idle talk with neighbors first thing in the morning.
· is so conscious when it comes to body odor.
· scrubs the floor with a coconut husk.
· uses kanin or rice as instant paste when there isn’t any.
· melts red candles on hot kerosene as floorwax.
· idea of the classic contrabida is Bella Flores.
· idea of Wonderwoman is either Darna or Super Gee.
· has electric flames on his prayer altars.
· loves to celebrate just about any anniversary.
· loves to dedicate mellow love songs on the radio.
· idea of to salvage is to kill, not to save.
· idea of beauty and handsomeness is being a mestizo.
· raises pigs and chicken in his small backyard.
· goes for sour foods such as sinigang, pinaksiw, daeng, atsara, kinilaw.
· expression of vomiting is planting rice.
· puts capiz shells in his window.
· eats balut or duck’s embryo and intestines.
· idea of spicy food is one with lots of chili peppers in it.
· closes the street during wakes for a dead realtive, put a tent and convert it into a Mahjong hall.
· takes a bath in the rain particularly in May because it’s good for the health.
· is a sabong freak. Sabong means two fighting cocks.
· writes smile before you open notes on penpal envelopes and letters.
· likes to crack watermelon/squash seeds and corniks (fried corn seeds) during light conversations.
· has an arinola handy at bedtime. Arinola is a metal bowl for the sole purppose of urination.
· decorates his house with seashells, figurines, oversized potteries and ornamental, plastic flowers.
· washes the dishes and glasses lublob or soaking style.
· has Sacred Heart of Jesus and Immaculate Heart of Mary pictures hanging in the gates and doors.
· has dried Palm Sunday palms known as palaspas on his altar.
· has a grotto in his lawn.
· has stone dwarfs and mushrooms in his lawn.
· has showbiz gossip magazines in his liivng room.
· his lawn is carpeted with Bermuda grass and planted with Araucaria Cypress.
· recycles spoiled food as kaning baboy or food for the pigs in his backyard.
· eats fish heads with a sucking-slurping relish.
· thinks that food accidentally dropped on the floor is still safe to eat so long as it hasn’t been there a minute.
(Mas masaya kung binabasa to ala-Mike Enriquez)
Lalaki kumain ng boneless bangus, natinik!!!
Paco binaha, kinalawang!!!
Tahanang Walang Hagdan, inakyat!!!
Capt. Hook dumaan sa Quiapo, pinirata!!!
Bakla sumali sa away, napasubo!!!
Unanong madre, napagkamalang penguin!!!
bulag, nagdilim ang paningin, nanaksak!!!
Tindera ng suka, tinoyo!!!
bastos na teacher, tinuruan ng leksyon!!!
Eroplano nag-crash, lahat ng pasahero namatay sabi ng mga survivor!!!
Basurero nagsampa ng kaso, binasura!!!
Dahil sa taas ng tuition, eskwelahan ng mga bingi, nagnoise barage!!!
Lalaki natagpuang pugot ang ulo, inaalam pa kung buhay!!!
Barbero tumestigo sa krimen, ayaw paniwalaan!!!
Misis ng photographer, nakunan!!!
Tindera ng tubig, namatay sa uhaw!!!
Kaso ng pilay, nilalakad!!!
Invisible man, nakita na!!!
Labandera nagkamali, sinabon!!!
Janitor sumali sa basketball, nilampaso!!!
Dahil lagi raw tulog, guwardiya binantayan!!!
Plantsadora, nadawiit sa gusot!!!!!
Runner na inutangan….. tinakbuhan!!!!
Tindera ng karne, nasagasaan…. naging gulay!!!!
Nandaya sa baraha, binalasa!!!!
Buntis, nasagasaan…….. anak nakailag!
Tindera ng mais, nagpatawa… corny!
1. HUWAG MATAKAW SA PULUTAN.
2. HUWAG MAKULIT KAPAG NAG-IINOM.
3. HUWAG PATATAGALIN NG BASO SA KAMAY AT MAY SUSUNOD PANG TATAGAY.
4. HUWAG INOM NG INOM LANG, KAILANGAN MAGPAINOM KA RIN. (BILI KA)
5. UMINOM NG DIRETSO SA TIYAN, HUWAG SA ULO.
6. MAGPAALAM KUNG UUWI NA. HUWAG BIGLA NA LANG MAWAWALA.
7. MAGTIRA NG PANGLAKAD KAHIT HINLALAKI LANG NG PAA MAN LANG.
8. HUWAG MATULOG HABANG NASA HARAPAN NG INUMAN.
9. KUNG UUWI NG LASING SIGURUHIN NA SA BAHAY UUWI.
10. HUWAG MANANAKIT NG ASAWA KUNG HINDI KA SINABIHAN NG PUTANG INA KA, NAGLASING KA NA NAMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PAG LASING NA UWI NA!!